oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
