Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
