I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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