we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just want to make out with him forever
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
