I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
