Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You're a waste of cheezeits
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
