Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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