In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
