operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
50% drunk capacity currently
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize