At least make sure they are 18
Why
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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