I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
