Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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