I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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