No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
