someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
