two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I need water and some morals
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
