Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
