So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
