An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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