i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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