Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
