well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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