So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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