last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
someone owes me an orgasm
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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