You're a womanizer and a bitch.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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