you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
