What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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