You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
