bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i don't like sucking hair
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
