at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
