I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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