Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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