dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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