but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
