so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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