Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Say something about gay babies.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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