you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
