they need to just BURY HIM!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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