I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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