Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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