If i come over, it means nothing
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
