In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
