Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
