Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
