take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
In America we eat man semen.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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