I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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