In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
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How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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