Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
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I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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