I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Green mimosas i think yes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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