Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
