my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I want a musical about memes.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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