Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
