the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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