on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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