I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
