I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
