Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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