were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
