coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
