Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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