I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
