3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
did i just pee glitter
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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