You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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