It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
