PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have aggressive nipples.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize