How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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