So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
